What Is It To Be Sheikah?
by The Mouse of Anon
Summary: Set after OoT: What did Sheik really think of Zelda telling Link that he wasn't real? Sheik's thoughts and musing. Sheik and Zelda are separate people! C & C is greatly appreciated.


Disclaimer: I no own Legend of Zelda, Link, Sheik, or anybody else from the awesomeness that is the LoZ series. That said, don't frigging sue me.

Author's Note: This is another one of my bizarre little Sheik-centric fics wherein Sheik is his own person. Unlike my others however this is the serious side of Sheik, and his musing over some things that royally (no pun intended) piss him off. As such read and enjoy, but don't bitch at me and yowl about how "Zelda and Sheik are the same person". I_ know_ and I don't really care. Besides- here in this little fic I've got a good explanation as to how they could be separate people- SO HA! I might have a follow-up for this going, can't be too certain, but in any case enjoy the fic and review.

What Is It To Be Sheikah?

What is it to be Sheikah? I often question that standard. What sets my race so apart from all others? To the rest of Hyrule my kind may as well not exist. We are the 'Shadow Folk', the ones that are spoken of as legends and even then only by the very few that know of us. Of course the hylian royal family knows of us- it is to them that we pledged our allegiance. Even so, they have no grasp as to how numerous we Sheikah are.

Not even the Gerudo whom we share the desert with, know much of us. We Sheikah remain as we have for centuries: an almost unverified mystery. Indeed my people have largely stayed out of Hyrule, only turning up when wars could actually effect us. This of course has been a rarity, and since we Sheikah only come into view when needed… Well, I'm certain you can figure out the rest. So does this mean that just because we go unseen that we do not exist? That could no more be said of us than it could of the Zoras! The only difference in reality being that _while_ Zoras are sometimes rarely seen, everyone in Hyrule always _know_ they are there.

Everyone knows that if they have need to speak to the Zoras all they have to do is go to Zoras' River and wait. Sheikah are a bit more elusive than that. We can disappear into shadows that almost don't exist; hide in places one would never think to look. I myself have hidden behind curtains, under beds, behind chairs… on ceilings. I've even hidden on the canopy of Princess Zelda's bed. When she realized I was there she wasn't too thrilled. Not that I can blame her. I wouldn't be too thrilled if I realized the man I'd been posing as just hours earlier had been spying on me while I lied through my teeth to the Hero of Time about said man's existence so I could keep the secret of the Sheikah that had raised me, either.

Zelda had her reasons, I'm well aware of that, but I wish she hadn't taken on my appearance so freely. What happens if I decide I want to pursue the budding friendship I had with Link? Oh wait, that's right, because Zelda and I flipped back and forth (so she could get some fresh air instead of being cooped up all the time), I don't exist. I'm not real. Why would someone who isn't real want to be friends with someone who is? That, or so I've heard, is one phrase that has been continuously flung at my people.

We're the Sheikah, the 'Shadow Folk', we're (supposedly) the shadow-selves of Hylians, so _clearly_ we can't _possibly_ be real people! Though I think very highly of Zelda, and I know she never would have intended it in such a way, she unintentionally rubbed that foolish idea in my face. I'm well aware that she decided to say I didn't exist, that I'm not real, just to keep the secret of the Sheikah. In all honesty she could have just as easily _not_ even said such a thing. So to Link there would have been one more 'real' Sheikah than just Impa… what difference does it make if there are "only two" versus "only one"?

Why was it SO damned important that Impa had to be "the only Sheikah left"?! Hell, if it's a question of _who_ is more Sheikah, then it'd be me! Contrary to popular belief Impa isn't full-blooded Sheikah; she's half. That, more than anything, is probably part of the reason she was chosen to play emissary/royal-babysitter to the throne. Alright… that was out of line. I admit that was out of line, and more than just a touch biased. I don't have anything against Impa, she's one of the best teachers I ever had- but damn it all Zelda shouldn't have lied about me!

We Sheikah don't want anybody to know where we are, to know that we_are_ in existence, simply because we don't want the petty wars of a century or longer ago to once again arrive on our proverbial door-step. I am Sheikah, I know to keep my mouth shut about the rest of us. So why, _why_, WHY did Zelda feel compelled to tell Link that I wasn't real, that it had been "her" all along?! Because of what she did, by the rules my race follows, I'm not supposed to show my face to Link again. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

To do so would be to "negate the truth that a Sheikah has said"… even if Zelda is sheikah in the way she was raised only. One of the first creeds we Sheikah follow is that if one of us tells something to someone of another race as truth, then all others should support that 'truth' unless it comes to necessary details. In short: multi-person backed lies.

We have long had it said that Impa was the only Sheikah left. As such she was the only one seen in Hyrule. Then I was needed to help Link- inasmuch as I was allowed to. So then the lie turned into Impa and _I_ being the only Sheikah left. It was a comfortable lie. It was a lie I could live with. Then Zelda decided to change that. She told Link that I wasn't real, that I had been her all along; that there was no Sheik. Once again the lie returned to Impa being the only one- which means I am supposed to 'disappear' and never be seen again. That is a lie which I'm _not_ so comfortable with.

It's a lie I've come to hate. I was honestly getting to like Link, and he was just starting to open up to me. We had a few small conversations that didn't have to do with his quest, mostly over things he'd like to do once it ended, but Zelda destroyed that the moment she told him I wasn't real. Goddesses, I can still remember what she said to him while posing as me in the Temple of Time… "It's time to reveal to you my true self." I don't think I've ever burned up with more rage than in that moment.

In that moment she killed me in his eyes. I became nothing more than a disguise for her, and it pissed me off. Zelda, my friend from the time she first came to my tribe's camp when we were ten, betrayed me and my wishes even though she didn't even know it. I look back on it now and realize there was no way she could have known that I wanted to know Link better; we hardly ever had any chance to talk during that hellish period of time. How could she have known that I didn't want to just fade back into the shadows after the fight with Ganondorf was done and over with? How could she know when the most we got to exchange in passing was "he's over at…" or, "I wish I could tell you everything..."?

At the time Ganon was defeated however, I was nowhere near so calm. I stayed long enough to be sure that both of them were alright and the Gerudo king was gone, and then I bolted for the castle. Wall-climbing has never been one of my most impressive capabilities, but I was up the castle wall and in Zelda's room faster than a squirrel could go up a tree. Keep in mind that this is a feat that would normally take me thirty minutes to accomplish- Zelda's bedroom balcony is about forty feet straight up from the ground after all. It's amazing the speed and strength anger will put into your limbs.

I could have torn her room apart in my rage, even if as a Sheikah I'm to leave no trace of my presence- she's more than aware that I'm as real as she is. I behaved myself, ignored my temper in favor of confronting her directly. I couldn't very well take away her happy return to her kingdom. It wouldn't be fair- not that she'd been very fair to me- but we had promised to be as fair to each other as our friendship could stand. So like a good little boy I just sat quietly up in her room on the canopy of her bed and fumed in silence until she came up.

I was considerate enough to give her a few minutes to relax and compose herself, trusting that she was still unfamiliar enough with the castle to not realize I was there. Once she was somewhat settled in I dropped from the canopy and ended up with her dagger pointed at my throat. Impa's training at work. She was glad enough to see me at first when she saw past her own hair-trigger responses; and then she realized I was less than thrilled.

The first words out of my mouth were, and I quote, "Why in the hell did you tell him I wasn't real?" To say the least the conversation was long and drawn out, lasting well over an hour, and could most easily be summed up as:

"You shouldn't have lied to him about me."

"Well you could have told me you wanted him to know about you, and I was only trying to keep the secret."

By the end of it I stormed off in a huff and Zelda was left in a fine temper, unable to follow me because she had to take up her role as princess of Hyrule. Being left behind is one thing that Zelda has always despised, but in that moment I hadn't cared how angry it made her. In that moment she wasn't the Princess I pledged my aid to- she was just a long-time friend that had pissed me off so thoroughly that I wanted to hit her. A vindictive punch straight to her face would have been more satisfying than I can even describe.

I regretted giving her permission to have free reign on my appearance. Rather than going back to the desert or to the hidden camp Impa had set up, I hid in the woods and sulked. I didn't want to see anybody else, not Impa, not Link, no one. I was angry at Zelda, I was angry at Impa, I was angry at the rules of my race; and I was angry at myself for not having the foresight to do something about it.

I stayed away for a week. It was the first time I had ever used the training I grew up with to avoid my own people. They came looking for me, I won't lie about that, but I refused to let them find me. As Impa would say, I was much too interested in pouting in private to bother trying and failing to be sociable in public. Even Zelda came looking for me; thankfully wearing her own personally crafted Sheikah appearance rather than mine. I was in too much of a tiff to come out and even say hello.

When I finally came out of hiding I was still sullen, but it was a drastic improvement from a week prior. I no longer felt the impulsive urge to hit something anytime I thought of Zelda. In fact she was the first person I went to; mainly to inform her I was still alive, and to apologize for ripping her head off. As soon as that was done I was off to Impa and a lecture that made me feel like my rounded ears were going fall off if she snapped and snarled at me for one more hour. Ah, the so-called 'bliss' of having a teacher that cares. Especially during the times when you most wish they wouldn't.

I've always said that Impa's lectures were harder to endure than her training sessions. By the time she let me go I almost felt like I had had to claw at the ground going up a steep hill without making any headway for _over five hours_ using just my hands so I could get away. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks there's something wrong with coming away from a lecture more exhausted than the results of a three-hour training session. Regardless, I'm surprised I wasn't staggering as I walked.

At Impa's direction I was stuck under supervision for a month. As she had _thoroughly_ impressed upon me during her lecture, Sheikah _were not_ supposed to run off without notice to anyone else and keep out of contact in potentially enemy territory for _any_ prolonged period of time. This naturally made me stir-crazy. Not that I didn't get any fresh air, I got plenty of that, but I had to behave myself- to the letter- in accordance with Sheikah code and creed. If I wanted to visit Zelda, I had to be escorted to the castle in the dead of night. Meeting up with and visiting Link was out of the question.

The occasional curse or rant of frustration had to be concealed as well. Why? Another point in Impa's lecture: Sheikah were not supposed to lose their temper, and thus their wits, in potentially enemy territory since to do so could cost them their life. Training for such temper control, to prove that I wasn't a complete incompetent on this point, was just fore-going any such hint that I could ever get pissed off. Believe me when I say that it's thousands of times more difficult than it sounds.

For a full month I was stuck following Impa's carefully controlled schedule; training sessions headed by her that would last sometimes for three hours, waking and heading to bed at specific times, meticulously doing any task she saw fit to set me to. And the lectures, good Goddesses- the lectures!!! Morning, noon, and night- after every training session, during breakfast, even if I was stuck sitting in one place repairing horse-saddles for hours on end! Anything, and I do mean anything, anything I was doing she could_somehow_ find a way to relate it to the rules we Sheikah live by. She had become the 'teacher from the void' that Zelda, my other friends, and I had long referred to her as amongst us.

When I wasn't being directed or badgered by her in one way or another on the rare few occasions I was allowed out of her sight, I was being followed by at least two or three others so they could attest to the fact that if I said I wasn't doing anything stupid, I would be telling the truth. There were so many times that I felt like I was going out of my mind that I lost count. Consciously I knew _why_ she was putting me through it all, it was just a sign of how much she cared- and how much my absence had scared her.

Had I not continuously reminded myself of that fact I might have been tempted to do something stupidly reckless just to escape the monotony. I endured and for that month I could have been the perfect model of what it is to be Sheikah. It helped that I saw what Zelda had to go through; after watching from the sidelines one 'royal behavior' class (again headed by Impa) I began to appreciate how much more freedom I had as a 'supervised Sheikah' than what Zelda had as a 'Princess-in-training'. In truth I didn't envy her lot. I could at least be freed after my time was up- Zelda was stuck as Princess, and eventually Queen, for life.

Since I have gotten off of my prolonged punishment I've mainly just enjoyed the privacy and the freedom that comes with it. I've spent hours out alone among the dunes of the desert, just taking in that searing hot wind I'm so familiar with. Of course the difference now is that I'm careful to let others know when I'm going to take off, and for how long. Being trusted is a valuable thing; and in a contradictory way it allows you to keep more to yourself if you so wish it.

To all others I've given no hint that I have any interest in pursuing my torn down almost-friendship with Link. As far as anyone else knows I've given up the idea as a lost cause. They haven't got a clue. I haven't said a word of my plans even to Zelda. I intend to break the rule about "negating the truth another Sheikah has said". A bit peculiar isn't it? I got punished for misbehaving in regards to Sheikah creed, and instead of convincing me to abandon all thoughts of what I _want_ to do; it has strengthened my resolve to violate that creed in an even worse way. Reverse psychology perhaps?

This brings me back to my original thought: What is it to be Sheikah? Why must I abandon all chance of a friendship simply because of my race and circumstances outside of my control? Why is it so important that I support a lie that had been changed once already and why can't it be changed to reflect the reality I most want to see again? What is it about me and my race that dictates we can't have normal friendships outside of our race aside from the rare few we have accepted into the fold?

These are the thoughts that I pondered over during that month of supervision. It was those thoughts that made me decide that I have to see Link again in person and set Zelda's lie straight. Admittedly my desire for Link's friendship has become only the most minor part of my decision to break that crucial rule. Much more importantly I've decided to do myself a favor and be true to myself rather than mindlessly following the code and creed of my tribe.

After all, if nobody ever questions anything, how can there be any progress or room for improvement? I will see Link again, eye-to-eye for the first time in a season, and I will reclaim what Zelda threw away. I will once again have Link see me and know that I'm real, that I'm my own person; and if that means being potentially exiled from my tribe- so be it. This is the first cause I have truly taken on for myself and I will not run from it, no matter what anyone says.

Sheik of the Sheikah,

Borderland Fox Tribe

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V Push the button and review, Sheik's sanity demands it.


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